Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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