Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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