Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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