My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
