I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
