College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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