Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
