dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
