super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize