Apparently you make a good broom.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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