He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize