i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
