are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
