"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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