So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
