turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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