dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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