I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm always down for nudity.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
