I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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