How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
