As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
