Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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