just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
