VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
