I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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