He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
