Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
