Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
whose parrot is this?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
