This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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