I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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