I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
