Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
