So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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