road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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