The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
