yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
