Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
