Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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