My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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