How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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