well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
