did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
