I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
