it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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