Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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