Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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