I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
