Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
