You're so nebulous sometimes
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
