I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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