I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
