they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
