I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
