I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
