thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
