I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
