I want to walk on stilts...naked
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
