so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
