i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
