He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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