Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
