i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
