we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
