I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
