I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to calm my uterus...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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