separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
