i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
