it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
