i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
