Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
