so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
