pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
