Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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