TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do vagina's smell?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
